Relationship Counselling
Once a year we head over to get our car serviced, every couple of months we stock take our wardrobes and retire old clothing, ever few weeks or so we treat ourselves to a beauty treatment, while every day we go through a routine to keep our bodies healthy. Why is it, that in almost every aspect of our life we realise that components require regular upkeep and care to continue functioning optimally? However, when it comes to relationships, we somehow expect it to be smooth sailing.
Studies have shown, that relationship counselling highly depends on the individual characteristics of the couple, mental health conditions, and more, overall results are extremely varied.
Relationships are not always easy
Relationships are one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. This is because two people with complex back stories, triggers, histories, baggage, reactions, preferences, habits, and upbringings are suddenly intertwined and expected to get along swimmingly. Each relationship is unique, and a look at relationship statistics in Australia shows how diverse couples are, from age range, religion, lengths of relationships, and divorces. Whether it is the propaganda so
A successful relationship requires work
Just like the other aspects in your life, to foster and grow a successful and happy relationship, it required work and effort by both parties. In the times when it seems too much, talking to a licensed professional can be a fantastic, neutral environment, in which to go through problems and improve communication.
What would a couples counselling session look like?
Whether it is daily stressors, or a big change that occurred in your life such as the death of a family member, birth of a child, substance abuse, anger management, depression, or infidelity, a couple’s counsellor will focus on finding the best solution for both parties. A therapist will work with both of you to find what makes your relationship strong and help rediscover why you were attracted to each other in the first place. Then, will help open communication to aid the two parties express what they need and want from each other. This will help give light to what everyone contributes to the relationship and help identify areas of growth to make the relationship work.
Strengthening communication and removing blame
Rather than pointing fingers and assigning blame, a counsellor will be able to steer the conversation towards healthy communication and aid the couple to establish what sort of relationship they wish to have from now on. If there are children affected by the relationship instability, Voxen Gold Coast Counselling also offers sessions for children and adolescents.
What will your relationship look like?
Counselling is not only designed for couples who are dedicated to staying together. Visiting a therapist can also help set healthy boundaries during divorce, help negotiate acceptable situations for dependents and children, and gain understanding on how to support each other in difficult times.
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Marriage Counselling
Every healthy marriage consists of partners who respect each other, are willing to compromise, communicate effectively, and are honest and open with one another. It is integral that both partners feel safe and happy when they are together. Problems often arise when couples do not put effort into their marriage and stop spending meaningful time together.
All marriages will inevitably go through rough patches at some point in time and marriage counselling can help marriages recover. Rough patches involve conflict in the face of adversity. However, these arising difficulties are not necessarily the issue as it is how these problems are dealt with that will either make or break the relationship. Some common conflict areas include:
- What to spend money on
- Husbands becoming violent
- Absence of effective communication
- Deciding how often they have sex
It is often thought that the first year of marriage is the most difficult, but in truth every year requires diligence and commitment. Marriages take work. Divorces often occur due to infidelity, lack of intimacy or sometimes, because the fire simply fizzled out. Gold Coast marriage counselling knows it is necessary to put time into your marriage and stay committed, whilst also being honest with yourself to ensure the marriage is continually beneficial for both you and your partner. It is safe to say all marriages can overcome hardship if both parties are willing to face issues together.
While going through a difficult chapter with your partner is normal, marriage counselling is designed to help guide your marriage to make sure it develops in the best way for you. Countless marriages have been able to overcome conflict through the assistance of Voxen’s ingenious counsellors, who are able to resolve even the most problematic and obscure of conflicts.
Couples Counselling
Hundreds of couples have been able to overcome issues in their relationship by speaking with Couples Counsellors. They are emphatic, attentive, nurturing, gentle, helpful, kind, supportive, sometimes thought-provoking and most importantly, they provide a non-judgemental approach to the situation. The counsellors don’t team up with one party and are able to provide you with an unbiased and pristine viewpoint. They will listen intently to what you have to say when in couples counselling and allow you to express your thoughts in a safe environment.
They will refresh your perspective on the relationship by using their “magic highlighter.” By asking couples a series of questions, counsellors get individuals to “read the transcript” they have written, and counsellors will simply point out the facts. Through the use of their magic and intangible highlighter, couples can clearly see that they already knew the answers to their questions but just needed some assistance to pinpoint them.
Voxen’s well trained therapists focus on the following areas in couples counselling:
- Working with couples to identify their goals
- Helping them to achieve it
- Assessing the problem for each individual
- The expectation of each individual for themselves and in the relationship
- The length of the relationship
In Couples Counselling, counsellors understand how each individual’s issues vary, and cater to the needs of the individual, while keeping the goals of the relationship in mind.
The goal of each relationship is different and the counsellors at Voxen want to help couples to achieve it. By achieving their goal, it ensures couples are on the same wavelength and are growing together cohesively. Counsellors will assess the problems and can outline the expectations for each partner. They will also analyse the length of the relationship as if it is fairly new, going to counselling so early on may be a negative sign.
Relationship Counselling – possible problems
There are a plethora of reasons as to why people turn to Relationship Counselling. Relationships include but are not limited to:
- Your romantic partner
- Your friends
- Your roommate
- Your colleagues
- Your family
The most common reason people turn to relationship counselling is because there are communication or trust issues in the relationship. When there is a lack of communication, the likelihood for the misalignment of goals increases drastically, which can lead to the formation of issues within the relationship.
For example, you may be concerned about how your partner wants to get married and have children, but you already have children and would just like to find a companion. Both of these relationship goals are perfectly fine; however, if the goals do not align, it is best to speak with one of our professionals.
Another instance is if your partner tells you they would just like to be with anyone; however, this makes you feel as if you are not special to them and you begin to doubt their true feelings for you. These feelings of distrust in the relationship are due to a lack of open communication which is vital for a healthy relationship.
Sometimes one party has insecurities within themselves and when they get into a relationship, they transfer these insecurities onto their partner. This can produce a relationship with a toxic atmosphere and diminish the confidence of both parties. It can even split up partners who still love and care dearly for one another.
You must speak with one of our Gold Coast Relationship Counsellors if you are in conflict with your partner or are feeling unsure about aspects of your relationship, so you may be able to better communicate with your partner and have a healthy and long-lasting relationship.
Hi, I’m Katherine Nelson, a counsellor at Counselling at Voxen on the Gold Coast.
When couples or individuals come in for relationship counselling, I’m often asked about the most effective strategies. Here are three common questions—and how we approach them together:
1. “What’s the most important skill to improve our relationship?”
Without a doubt—communication. Many relationship issues stem from miscommunication or not feeling heard. In counselling, I help couples develop healthier ways to express needs, listen without defensiveness, and stay emotionally connected even during conflict. Learning how to pause and really hear each other can shift an entire dynamic.
2. “How do we stop having the same fight over and over?”
Recurring arguments usually point to deeper emotional needs or unresolved pain. We look at the patterns behind the fights—what triggers them, what each partner is really needing, and how past experiences may be playing a role. Once we understand the cycle, we can start changing how you both respond, so you’re working together instead of against each other.
