Psychologists Will Agree….

When you are working with any form of counselling to improve change in your life, it requires an element of self-coaching to make the changes stick.

Psychologists have proven time and time again, when a person enters a counselling room for the first time, it is because somewhere the person has identified they need help to create ‘change’ in their lives. This can be anywhere from relationships, communication connections, self-esteem, family, behaviour, addictions, acceptance, patterning, or thoughts. This applies to all ages from children, teenagers, adults and seniors.

The work of any psychologist is not dependant on the therapy alone. You as the person in need of ‘change’, will need to embrace the fact that, ‘If I want to make real changes in my life, I will need to do some self-coaching’.


Let’s define Self-Coaching.

Self-coaching is pretty self-explanatory when you think about it. Yet once you actually go to start you may discover you are not sure what that really looks like. Let’s do a list of where to start and the order you will need to follow to implement permanent change along side the work you are doing with your counsellor in sessions.

Step 1: Identifying why it is important to change?

Ask yourself-

How often do I smile in my day?

How often do I find myself laughing?

How often do I say hi to the people I pass in my day?

How often do I stop and appreciate the things I DO have?

If you are answering sometimes or never, well the obvious answer is something needs to change in yourself.

One thing in life is for sure and that is ‘Change’!

Everything is constantly changing, yes. The difference is that you need to control change within yourself to embrace a more positive, more purposeful, more fulfilling and more joyful relationships, communication connections, self-esteem, family, behaviour, addictions, acceptance, patterning, or thoughts and other.

Along with your counsellor in therapy you will identify the blockages for the change to happen in your life and further to that you will need to ask these questions of yourself and answer them.

  1. What do I want in my life / goals?
  2. What is stopping me from achieving my goals?
  3. What am I going to do to implement change?

i: You will need to set goals for yourself.

ii: You will need to uncover the blockages; the patterns, the bad behaviour, the bad choices, the addictions, the negative thoughts, etc (work with your counsellor).

iii: You will need to stay focused and challenged. Start to implement short term goals of change (along with your counsellor) and consciously bring them into your thoughts on a daily basis.

iv: You will need to stay committed to your journey of change / positive change (now we have added a healthier word for our processing).

v: You will need to constantly (daily) reassess and re examine your ideas, plans and strategies (outlined with the assistance of your counsellor).

vi: You will be identifying your life values through this processing system.

vii: Write them down!

Through this first step of self-coaching you will start to identify what matters to you in your life and what you value. What it is that is important to you and what you want to spend your time and energy doing, being, having.

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